“Am I putting the power of my worthiness and happiness is other people’s hands?” This is a powerful question that I’ve come across recently. When I asked myself this openly and honestly, I discovered that the majority of my self-worth is most definitely reliant on others opinions of me. What I’ve realized is that for many years I’ve only felt a very false sense of self-worth. It’s the type of self-worth that’s been completely dependent on the affirmations of others and therefore has wavered greatly depending on who and what I’m facing during specific periods in my life.
This “outsourcing” of our self-worth is a dangerous cycle that conditions us to the false belief that we are only worthy when others are there to affirm it. When we are not receiving these positive vibes and affirmations from others, we fall into this dark pit of self-doubt and lack of self-worth. It’s taken me many years to realize this is a sure way to ruin personal relationships. It is completely unfair to ourselves and to others to be basing our self-esteem and self-worth solely on their words and actions towards us. Our own worthiness is far too important to put into the hands of another.
What if we released anyone else from this responsibility of helping us overcome what we haven’t wanted to face ourselves? If we want to stop placing the burden and responsibility of our worthiness on others, we have to start to practice some accountability for our own feelings. Feeling self-love and compassion are the only real way to fill the void that we are constantly seeking to be filled from others. This feeling we are seeking is actually already within us. Although it may not seem like it at times, we are very capable of giving ourselves the love and affirmations that we are searching for outside of ourselves.
International Yoga Trainer,